In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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