super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
