Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
