umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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