That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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