How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
