sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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