so let's talk penis.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
