My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
