i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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