Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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