No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
