Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
