Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  What does that even mean?

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  (903): I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude! (1-903): What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/qhna
  Replies (30) Good night (1303) Bad night (5199)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"

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  (386): he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor" http://tfl.nu/h9m9
  Replies (26) Good night (1313) Bad night (5499)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks

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  (478): She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks http://tfl.nu/vee8
  Replies (22) Good night (4692) Bad night (1639)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  They are making fun of natty and blackberries.

  (646): View more from New York

  Tell them they are ugly.

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  (856): They are making fun of natty and blackberries. (646): Tell them they are ugly. http://tfl.nu/s2y1
  Replies (8) Good night (3982) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.

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  (253): I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end. http://tfl.nu/6ben
  Replies (9) Good night (3358) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.

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  (404): I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway. http://tfl.nu/geao
  Replies (10) Good night (2563) Bad night (3696)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand

  (816): View more from Missouri

  team rage. no explanation necessary

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  (636): I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand (816): team rage. no explanation necessary http://tfl.nu/mquv
  Replies (2) Good night (1885) Bad night (3152)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.

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  (815): i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head. http://tfl.nu/g1i4
  Replies (5) Good night (2007) Bad night (1678)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"

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  (312): I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day" http://tfl.nu/qds9
  Replies (5) Good night (1493) Bad night (1394)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart

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  (630): Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart http://tfl.nu/qpzs
  Replies (8) Good night (591) Bad night (1440)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.

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  (605): Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction. http://tfl.nu/iqla
  Replies (4) Good night (1032) Bad night (1586)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Touche salesman.

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  (402): You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less. (1-402): Touche salesman. http://tfl.nu/st32
  Replies (2) Good night (1157) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.

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  (517): I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish. http://tfl.nu/ztbe
  Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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  (425): The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch http://tfl.nu/197l
  Replies (7) Good night (501) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.

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  (773): You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night. http://tfl.nu/vj63
  Replies (0) Good night (276) Bad night (406)

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