That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.