well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.