Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.

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  (303): God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with. (720): And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids. http://tfl.nu/a779
  Replies (16) Good night (1112) Bad night (4336)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!

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  (610): Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming! http://tfl.nu/wucs
  Replies (9) Good night (2971) Bad night (695)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night

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  (631): i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night http://tfl.nu/0bmo
  Replies (20) Good night (1069) Bad night (6784)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.

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  (971): Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them. http://tfl.nu/y8vc
  Replies (10) Good night (3639) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.

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  (954): it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/y5mn
  Replies (7) Good night (4313) Bad night (966)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.

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  (859): i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far. http://tfl.nu/eadn
  Replies (13) Good night (3500) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.

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  (904): Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot. http://tfl.nu/hyac
  Replies (11) Good night (2134) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT

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  (903): EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT http://tfl.nu/usnf
  Replies (14) Good night (7426) Bad night (987)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me

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  (479): Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me http://tfl.nu/g33s
  Replies (5) Good night (1857) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.

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  (973): That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that. http://tfl.nu/drll
  Replies (13) Good night (2133) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.

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  (914): Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life. http://tfl.nu/0z43
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.

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  (509): Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it. http://tfl.nu/l3y2
  Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.

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  (870): Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world. http://tfl.nu/aaq7
  Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night

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  (618): It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night http://tfl.nu/2or2
  Replies (0) Good night (321) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.

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  (818): I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life. http://tfl.nu/oikb
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (191)

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