you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
