My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision