Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
