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There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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