she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
