Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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