Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
