Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
