If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
