Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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