Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
