Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry arm1995 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.

Fav 19 1152 3648
share tweet
(819): View more from Quebec

Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?

(604): View more from British Columbia

Each and every day.

Fav 16 4920 1293
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties

Fav 10 4264 1623
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.

Fav 6 3528 1782
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?

Fav 9 6545 1275
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

Fav 5 4773 1199
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take

Fav 23 1546 5234
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.

Fav 2 890 518
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.

Fav 0 45 36
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT