He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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