I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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