she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
