I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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