I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
