ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
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No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
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There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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