glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
