I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize