so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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