whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
