I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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