he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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