Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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