I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
