you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
