Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize