Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I wish there were birth control emojis
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
