i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
