You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
