his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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