So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
