i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
organizing the empties. That sober.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat