woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.