I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
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his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads