glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.