their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
where are my eyebrows?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
