You're completely useless in the revolution.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
