Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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