dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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