the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My vagina just recognized that song.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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