No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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