Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
