it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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