People in love make me want to vomit
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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