I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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