So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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