Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
