Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
