yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
