it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
