I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is