My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.