Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We left the knife in your bed.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
