he shaved USA in his pubs
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
